Getting Pickpocketed in Spain and Stories from Hong Kong!

So let's talk a little bit more. I mean, the night is young. The night is young. I, haven't seen Bill since I… When's the last time you've been here? It's been six, eight months. Yeah. Yeah. Six, eight months. I've been in Cambodia working the project. You know, I'm over there, I've got an apartment there now, and I'm working it.

I'm working it. I'm working it, man. This is all given time. This is all about the children. What about the all falsely, uh, Mu Chacho. Chacha. Yeah. Mu chacho. 1, 2, 3.

We got the point, Mark. Alright, the next podcast, you'll actually be playing guitar and dancing. Dancing like Jesus with your your flamenco dancer outfit on right? 10 minutes ago.

Okay, so I got a story about Barcelona. Tell me about Barcelona. Why were you in Barcelona to begin with? It was a upper management corporate meeting. Uh, we decided to have in Barcelona. We did meetings in Mexico. We did meetings in Portugal. We would go over and it make it easier on our French facility manager.

Oh. Oh. It was also because it was cool to go to Europe. Yeah. It's always cool. The man with a woman's name. I started to do a fair amount of business later on in Spain. I love Madrid because of what I'm about to tell you. I've never had, a great passion for Barcelona. It's an extremely diverse country really is with so much history. Spain or Avi?, Spain. Spain. Spain itself. Avi's right down there near the Gibraltar and it's got a lot of Muslim influence. Muslims, lot of Spain was really invaded and taken over by various other countries in its time.

But anyhow, I was down there; this was my first trip to Spain. It was in Barcelona. Barcelona is Catalonian, which is a different, 2007 people approximately to these people. And it was Winterish. I've been to Madrid, I've been to… So what are some major cities?

I've been to the Pyrenees Mountains part of Spain. I've been to the Basque, I've been to Bilbao since Sebastian, which is one of those cities that always gets rated like the second (Wow) best places to live in the world. San Sebastian, not far from via Ritz in The Basque region, which is so different from the rest of the Spain.

Have you ever been to Wilder? Um, I've seen the movie. Anyway, so Barcelona is very a marked, I mean, they've got some top tapas is basically also from the Basc. I understand. I found it was very bizarre how most of the restaurants seemed to be worked by Asians.

I don't really have the explanation for that, but the Asians had basically at one point taken over, the Chinese had taken over Spain. Listen, I love Chinese food. I wanna go to Italian restaurant or Spanish restaurant places run by Asians. Okay? So, probably the most  interesting thing to me was all the Gaudi, the famous architect. All of his buildings,... the church that I still think is unfinished. The Gaudi, he's a very, very famous architect that was using biomorphic, sort of, rounded, every edge is rounded. In other words, it was gaudy.

It was, Scotty! Man, the term gaudy: I come from gaudy. Thank you. I think it's spelled the same. So I'm with this group of upper echelon people in our little tiny corporate world. And we're talking about, you know, we're brainstorming the future. We're brainstorming how to improve profits, all the kinds of conversations like that.

Big corporate types… I'm playing the game. And I'm basically, can you say, I'm thinking about the children. I'm thinking about, can you say Illuminati? So, We go to a restaurant. It's probably a Monday, Tuesday night. The town's kind of quiet. We're right off this famous road; I think it's called the Rambus, which was empty and dead and not all that interesting to me.

It was Monday night, not the time to go there. So we went to a restaurant that was picked by I think our French factory manager. And they specialized in kid. Now I had had kid before in New Mexico or Mexico, and for all of us, ignorant folk: What is kid? Kid? It's uh, it's young goat. Oh, young.

There's a word for the cuisine, and you go to these restaurants and you see that the entire kid  has been skinned and cooked. Uh, it's great. Yeah, it's great. I do love deals. It's one of my favorite dishes.

I only ate this baby goat because, I was just trying to fit in. I was trying to fit in. Really eat the baby goat. You are a follower, not a leader.

Sometimes the best way to lead is to follow. It is. So, we go and we have this great meal and this basically empty restaurant in Barcelona. You know, wonderful, fun time sitting with corporate types, having corporate discussions. They never end. They keep going. Nobody wanted to talk about the children.

I'm telling you: It's all about the children. We're paying up and we're leaving and we go outside and this is off the Grand Avenue, the R bus, there's all these very small avenues. Very European, you know,  the entire road barely will fit a car. No, barely will fit a car. I mean, they, which side do they drive on?

Well, down there, they drive any direction they want. I don't remember what side. I think Spain's, driving on the right, country. We go out there and I'm wearing kind of a sport jacket, you know, some, business attire and we're standing outside, waiting and waiting and waiting for a called taxi.

Did you have one of those ties on that you guys…? No, no. Uh, actually call those, those things, flip on an inflatable tie. So, I'm outside waiting and there's a car coming and I'm up against the wall. And then a group of these drunks, supposedly drunk looking guys, stumbling around. They come over and bump into me and suddenly I notice a drunken hand going down my shirt looking, checking out what's in my pockets.

Wow. And I immediately, or after a very short period, discovered what was going on. I pushed the guy away and the owner to the restaurant is outside. And he's like, well, what happened? I said, well, that  guy just tried to you know, pickpocket me. Yeah. And he just gets upset. This guy starts to try and run and, and the owner of the place stops him. And there's a group that areI guess, pickpockets with this stuff.

Are these the Asians? No, these are not. The Asians work hard. They don't need to pick…no, not the Asians. Were they copping a feel on you? I was telling it was the Asians that owned the restaurant. Uhhuh. No, this was very, very Spanish. Very well. You just, no, I said a lot of the restaurants, oh, not this, not every restaurant, it's run, run or worked in by Asia.

Okay. Um, I'm just trying to get these people to get a picture here. Talking, painting a picture. No. Yeah. I don't want you to get the feeling that all of Barcelona is run by the Asians. It really might be the…it really is the Yakuza from Japan. Alright. So the owner of this restaurant is very upset because he doesn't want his good clients to have a bad feeling about his restaurant because they're being pickpocketed right outside. So, there's some pushing going on and then a crowd is forming. There's a lot of screaming and yelling. I'm still just kinda like, “Hey, you know, he didn't get anything.” I didn't have anything in my pockets. “Let's, let's get in our taxi.” But as that's going on, like two crowds are starting to form those who are on the side He is just trying to get some money so he can eat for the night. Ugh. And he's, you know, he's probably living on the streets.

And then you've got those who are saying, Uh, you know, beat him up with, call the police, kill him. Well, the next thing you know, the cooks from the kitchen of the kid restaurant…Yeah. They come out and they're carrying chains. They're carrying chains, and they're whipping them. There's a big long chains, big, big ring chains, and they're coming out.

I did not see anybody get hit. But they're swinging these chains around. It's a dangerous scene. It's like, it's really frigging freaky. 'cause it all started and the whole thing blew up in less than a minute. And you've got cooks wearing their white hats and their cooks’ uniforms, winging chains around.

I don't know exactly how it ended up 'cause our taxi arrived.  I'm like getting in the taxi; I'm getting out of here because I'm not gonna get killed over… You're telling me right now that this, were they Spanish people that tried to get you? Were they touching you?

I'm assuming they were Spanish. Okay. So they, they were touching you and they didn't get your stuff right? They didn't get any of my stuff. But you pushed him away? You pushed him away? I pushed the guy away and a fight ensued. Right. But yet, and it blew up! You had the cooks fighting for you. Well, I guess I never looked at it that way. The cooks were on my side. I thought. I think it was a big scare tactic to make sure these guys didn't hang out in that neighborhood anymore. But, it was such a bizarre thing to happen. And it was…it's funny. I mean, in essence, somebody told me what had happened to me is you were mugged.

And three days before I left on the trip, one of my buddies said, be careful in Barcelona. Because that's like the capital in all of Europe for pickpocketing and bugging. Really? I did not know that. So, I guess I should have listened more closely. But you didn't.You didn't lose anything.

I didn't. But I got a great story. You did and you got great story and wasn't that a great story? And you got somebody feeled you up too. That was all, I never looked at it that way. It was a very positive experience. Then you're like, don't pickpocket me. Build downtown. Get down at hall call, trying to get his beats now.

Now you sound like a stripper, ma. What's that? I sing like a stripper. Well just now, Bill. Go to Hong Kong there. We're gonna talk about Hong Kong. Now folks, you like hemp. Hemp saved my life. You know what? I wrote my book basically under the influence of help. Really? Yeah.

That's a lot. That's another story. That's a podcast for you. Alright, well, you know, in all seriousness, Mark, not that we wanna get serious at all, 'cause this is not a really serious story. Yeah.  Hong Kong, first trip. I think I'll even…I've had a lot of first trips. First trip to Hong Kong:

Let's say it's, I'm 27 years old. I'll say I'm 27. You look at all that frigging dye you put in your hair. Say that all I need is a candle up here. Who does that? Does somebody does that or did you do that? Every morning you tie that little thing up. Leslies does it. Okay. Leslie's up. So, first trip going to Hong Kong.

My father loved Hong Kong, so he says, “I'm gonna treat you, Bill.” I'm gonna treat you Bill Kong. I'm gonna be treated by my daddy. Daddy gonna, he gonna take care of me in Hong Kong. Yeah, daddy gonna take me to Hong Kong. Okay. So he says you're gonna land in Hong Kong. I'm not telling you where you're staying.

It's secret where you're staying, boy. Okay, you're gonna get your bag and you're gonna go outside and there's gonna be a sign waiting for you. There's gonna be a sign waiting for you, boy. And so, I get my bag. I'm in Hong Kong. I'm first time over there.

I'm jet lagged. I'm tired. What if it wasn't your bag, baby? I'm a young man; I'm 27 years old. Jet lag is not…my bag. In your repertoire, when you're 27 years, anything can happen and usually does. And and you make sure it does. You make sure it does. So I go outside and there's this elegantly dressed man in a green uniform with my name on a chalkboard-Bill Gentry. Come on over here.

Come on, get my car baby. It's a green Rolls Royce. It was a green Rolls Royce? This was part of the special package that my father had waiting for me. Daddy got a special package. The other interesting thing is that the airport in Hong Kong was right in the middle of town. I mean, you are flying through skyscrapers that you feel like you can touch as you're going down the land.

I'll tell you this, in Hong Kong-the best civil engineer. Best civil engineering on the planet. Best civil engineering. Yeah, baby. Let's talk about Taiwan Chineses and Japanese. Oh, alright. So we are going to arrive after a short ride because the airport's like three minutes.

The Chinese people are short. So we go to the Peninsula Hotel, which is maybe at that time the best hotel in the world. And I kid you not, it was the best room I've ever had. How big was it?  It was probably 1200 square foot. What? That big room?

It's like an apartment. I had on my own personal butler. It was a suite. Bill owns a personal apartment in Hong Kong, getting his free call, trying to get his ding.

All right, so I arrive at the Peninsula. And this is a very famous hotel because not too many years before that was the James Bond movie, the Man with the Golden Gun, where James Bond stays at the Peninsula. So  it's very possible I was in the same room that James Bond was Bill Chester's in the same room as James Bonding, Yahoo.

Suzy Wong. Shout, shout. Did you get me Octopussy? Yeah. Oh, alright. So I'm at the Peninsula; It's my first night ever in Hong Kong. I'm 27, I've got $400 and I've got $500 for a two week trip they put aside for entertainment. Daddy only gave me $500 for tripping.

I don't dunno what you were saying there, but, uh, yeah. All. What would, what would Gino say? What would Gino say? We should come up with a bracelet.

I know exactly what Gino say. Gino said, better get outta Hong Kong right now. 'cause it's not a good place for a sudden 27 year old man with $500 of cold haw cash in his pocket. All right, nighttime comes and I'm in Hong Kong, 27, $500, not in my pocket, but $500 total hidden, deeply hidden in a safe 'cause I'm a paranoid American in a foreign country.

And the last time he was in Spain, he got mugged and molested in front of a chain gang. By the chain gang. Alright, so I, I am now, I'm following the footsteps in Hong Kong. First night in Hong Kong, I'm 27. How old are you?

Jesus Christ. I might've been 28. I don't know. He's lying to you the whole time. So I'm out looking for the Bottoms Up Club, which also is in The Man with the Golden Gun movie, and I'm like, I gotta go check out this place. It's not far. I'm in Dimm Sum Sui part of the Hong Kong. Dim Sumi is like Choi, but it's not dim.

It's Dimm Sumi. And I don't know how they really pronounce it, but that's how I always pronounce it. Dim Sumi. And it's not on Hong Kong Islands, which actually turns out to be, I learned years later, way more fun. So I'm there in the more shopping tourist area of Dim Sum Sui, and that's where the Bottoms Up Club is.

It's like four blocks from the Peninsula Hotel, which is where James Bond stayed; I'm in James. Bond's room and I'm going to James Bond's Club. Got $500 in my pocket. I'm gonna James Bond's Club.

I'm gonna see me some Asian bottoms, maybe some tops. I went up to Spain. So I searched the streets and it's not the best part of town. Terrible part of town down there. It's down by the Star Ferry. Any, Hey, raise your hands if you've been on the Star Ferry. It's probably the most, infamous and famous ferry.

Outside of the ones got a fair, are we talking about Bill? What kind of fair are we talking about? Baby shouty? Yeah, young. Alright. I find the club, the bottoms up club and I go down the stairs 'cause the bottom's up club is down in the bottom, underneath the main shopping. It's down near the bottom, baby.

Okay, that's what they call bottoms.  I go down there and there's, I don't know, it's maybe seven o'clock at night. It's a little early and there's a couple of girls in bikinis, maybe not girls, but more like older ladies dancing there. It could have been a man we don't know. And I sit down there and you know,  I'm just doing my time.

I'm, I'm going through the motions to do the whole James Bond tour of Hong Kong. And, a little side note, I had been, uh, the following day, one on a sales call. And in Asia, you know, you've got your normal step dimension- I think it's like six inches, let's say for a stairway. No, I didn't know that.

There's a normal dimension that Westerners have, Americans have for stairways The height of a step over there is four inches for tournament. Man, it's a lot. And so there I'm in my a full suit. Making sales calls, taking baby steps. I'm my own. The man is taking baby steps because he's not used to a full steps.

I'm doing the James Bomb tour of Hong Kong. I'm on my own and I'm rushing 'cause I'm late for an appointment and I, the steps, I just can't get the right tempo because it's, it's really quick. It's really, really quick. And the next thing you know, I am on my can and I'm sliding and I'm tumbling down these stairs in my really nice new suit.

Boom. Bill's all bottoms up because they can't figure out the dimensions to take a step. No, that was the following day. Oh, sorry. I don't know what the hell you talking that, that's a very bizarre moment in my life where I'm just tumbling down the street. Not any bizarre. Yeah. And because I'm 27, I stand up and, and there's no injury.

It's more bizarre now than it is right here. This is with the accompaniment: It is. It's pretty twisted. Alright, so back to the Bottoms Up club. I'm sitting at the bar, I'm, you know, glancing up at the ladies. Looking at the ladies are wriggling around,  gyrating, exotic motions. Probably dancing to Western music.

Oh man, 1987 and I don't think that that was a big year for Sting and Madonna. Prince, Sting and Madonna. Sting and Prince. Prince is doing his thing. Sting, very gaudy, would circle purple rain. There's occasional purple vein too. So, I continue to sit at that bar and then a couple of ladies come and sit next to me.

What color were the ladies? They were local, Hong Kong, Chinese, a little bit of Cantonese tinted with a little, uh, tainted. They say Cantonese is a similar sound of a cat howling. Cat howling.

Ow. So these ladies come and sit next to me,  and I'm smart enough to respond to them when they say, “can I have a drink?” Yeah. Now look cool. I'm not just born yesterday. Yeah. Well, I mean, you fell out a turnip truck last week. How much is that drink? It's maybe five bucks. How much is that doggy in the window?

My beer is five bucks. You know, it's cool. This is the eighties. I'm on the James Bond tour of Hong Kong Bill's into the lady. I'm at the bottom up club. I know it's going down. Ain't got no plan, man. An international Oh yeah. That's not my bag, baby. Well, I talk with the ladies. I think I buy each one of 'em a couple of drinks.

We chitchat, we talk.  I'm feeling bold and you know, how old are you? International. I'm 27 years at most, but I might've been 28. But I think I'm for the audience-I'm 27. Young man, but becoming an experienced man, traveling Bill's, starting to get in touch with his inner self right now at a Hong Kong place.

Bottom. Yay. I'm Wing yo. Trying to get some Asian women to give some things. Trying to get his junk touched. That's all… not true. International man of mystery. Totally in control. His morals and his agenda is a James Bond agenda. James Bond in what? What did you order for a drink? Was it shaken nuts? Probably. Uh, I think I got a beer.

You didn't get a martini shaken, not stirred? No. That that would've been a good idea. I gotta go back and order one 'cause I bet that place is still there 'cause it's famous from the Man with the Golden Gun. Alright, so I'm there maybe 30 minutes; I'm talking to these ladies, trying to act like I'm a worldly experienced, interesting guy.

If I remember correctly, one of 'em spoke English and the other one didn't speak any English. But,  you know, she had her hand on my thigh and she smiled really nice. So, she put an Asian love on you. Oh. So,  I said, you know, I gotta go.  I'm a little bit  jet lagged was my excuse because it really wasn't that interesting.

And so I, I decided to go back to the hotel and uh, 'cause it's probably nine. Bill would've been in bed at nine o'clock. Couldn't get no Shang High Surprise. So I asked for the bill, Hey, and I'm expecting a bill to be maybe $30. When you asked for the bill, does somebody ever say, well, that would leave you with none.

You don't get it? No. Is your bill. Oh Bill. Don't get my jokes right.

Gotta try and do better, Mark; It's better, and then I will laugh.

Alright, so as for the bill, they bring the bill and it's like $450. And I'm like, what? You know, I'm not thinking anything's up. I think it's just an honest mistake. Honest mistake. And I go to one of the ladies sitting next to me, the one who speaks English, and I said, can you go talk to the manager?

I think there's, you know, a mistake here. It just must be some, an anomaly calculation.  An error in calculation. It should be more like $35. Like a decimal got moved. Yeah. Something. Yeah. 45 bucks. Well, time goes by. The ladies say goodbye. I'm sitting there alone. I don't really know what's maybe going on.

I'm waiting for the the revised bill to come. Bill's waiting for a revised bill. What happens? We've got this bulldog face, little tiny guy in a suit, black suit, pin tie, and he comes up to me and he said.. What'd he say? This bill here, there's no mistake in this bill. This bill is a hundred percent correct.

Did you not see that sign over this way? What does the sign say? Squirrely American guy. Did you not see the sign over here? The sign says you're charged 20 US dollars for every 10 minutes that you talk to one of our bar hostesses. Oh my God. So you're gonna double that with two ladies. And I'm sitting there like, you know how many minutes I was there?

The bill comes out to like $450. You had a menage trois and didn't even know it.

Gotta get it with you. Bill got his free. Didn't even know I got ripped off so bad.

I didn't know how much fun though I really had 'cause I learned from my mistakes. That's what we did. Hey, you know what up? This is all about the children. It always is. So along with the Bulldog face guy was the largest man who lived -period- in all of Hong Kong. This gigantic guy, gigantic Asian man to cast a shadow.

So, big size of a small house. That it would be. With a face about as pleasant as a garage door. Wow. And he was there to emphasize the fact that their calculations were not wrong. My thinking was wrong. My lack of seeing his size influenced your math. Well, what happens is I quickly determined that I have the odds against me.

The odds are against me, and I pulled out my travelers checks. Travelers checks, way to go. Many of you have no idea what a traveler's check is. Hey, who has a daughter? That's how we're used. Travel Travelers' Checks and Diners Club, who uses that? They used to be worth more than hard cash. I wrote out a check for  $450.

I had now $50 left for entertainment for the next 13 days,and they walked away. I walked away, and harmed. There was no knives drawn, no fist thrown. I mean, I only I dare think that. Who would've won that fight? I think, I mean, I had, I learned how to box from my father, which you should have, and I have a bad tip.

I have an idea. A lot of people know this, have a bad… he's a horrible person, monster. He should have taken the feces out of his pants and rubbed it all over their faces might have helped. So I left that place humiliated as hell;  a poor man for the balance of my trip. But I had learned a lesson and I know to read the fine print on all the walls.

That's right, man, no matter where I go. And it turns out probably for the first 15 years I traveled to Hong Kong, I didn't like Hong Kong. Nobody. And it had been part of the hangover of that. But the last 15 years I went to Hong Kong, I loved it. It's a great town. It's a great city. It switched from being the center of subcontracting for western companies.

Everything shifted over to Chen. Hong Kong became a different country when it was reassumed the Taiwan, the authority by the Chinese. But go to Hong Kong. Support all your Hong Kong Cantonese friends that you meet in San Francisco. There you go. Or LA or New York. And that's all I gotta say.

And the lesson here is don't go to Hong Kong. Go to Hong Kong. Yong Ching. Chong Kong. Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Yeah. P Yong Hong Kong. Pj on your dinging always. Bye-bye Bill. Get a Ding Kong.

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